Monday, June 22, 2009

The End of and Era

As Natty has turned two, so he has also come out of nappies and, without any more children on the horizon (although I’m not promising there never will be of course) so heralds the end of an era - no more nappies in the Hampton house (except for the packet that is reserved for night-time use for the next week or so - hopefully he’ll go 24-7 dry). It seems odd to be considering how/if I am going to try and redeem some of the money I have spent on very many re-usable nappies in varying forms, some of which are barely used, if at all.They  can’t be sold on Ebay these days and I’ve never had much success anywhere else…anyone interested let me know and I’ll tell you what I’ve got (I may post up some pictures anyway). Odder still is the concept that my potentially last baby is now officially not a baby any longer, he is now a little lad in pants - not that he hasn’t in reality been a lad for some time in attitude! As he moves swiftly through toddler hood - a stage that I simply adore, a time of discovery, rapid development both physically and mentally, a time of exploration and innocence that has not yet moved into whining and constant ‘why’ questions, a time when independence and with that defiance are beginning to rear their heads, but are still quite easily diffused and manipulated, a stage that bridges between baby (dependent, snuggly and small) and child (independent and characterful), as he moves on from here I know I wlll quietly mourn the thought of never having a toddler in my home (actually brings tears to my eyes to think it). In my heart I really feel Natty has made my family complete - my perfect balance of boys and girls, my perfect 7 - and that I won’t have and don’t really want any more. I’m not sure, organised and relaxed as others think I am, that my patience or parenting would withstand the strain of another. I love my children, would not want to be without a single one of them and would exchange them for none, but I’m not sure I want to add another into the mix! All that said, if God were to choose to bless us with another we would embrace and love the child and I know I would cope, because I’d have to, but I would really like to do more than just ‘cope’. I actually feel that just now I am beginning to be a point where I am enjoying my children (more of the time than I was) and I don’t want to go back to less than that. So, much as I shed a tear about the thought of never having another child growing in my womb, or suckling at my breast, or toddling around in a nappy/bare bum, making silly faces at me just to make me laugh, plunging to the ground in mortal despair at the word ‘no’, and all those other lovely trade marks of baby and toddlehood - the deep heart truth is I do want more of it and love it and crave it, the REALITY truth is I don’t - and in case you hadn’t spotted it yet, this is our biggest ‘without child’ space we have had our whole married lives!

 

Sail on little Natty boat - sail on til’ manhood!

May your journey be safe and your seas be calm.

May the tiller of God’s word steer you straight.

May the distant shores of Heaven shine bright in your eyes.

May the wind of Praise be strong in your sail

May your anchor of Love be fast and true.

Sail on little Natty boat,

Sail on to manhood!

1 comment:

Nye Family Blog said...

I love this Caroline, it is so honest and reflective. I think we all know when we feel our family is complete, however many children we have. Am glad all is sorted.

How long has your mum been living with you?

Love Jane